I have a new, creative friend, Bethany Martin. She sells adorable vintage journals with her small business Words of Hallelujah. We exchanged products a while ago and I have been using her journal to write one word on a page. This is a great way to practice my handlettering but it also helps me focus.
The word that has been on my mind lately is embrace. I have been struggling with a lot of different emotions and been trying to find rest in the midst of the chaos. Each time I just feel like I need to embrace: embrace my current situation and embrace who I am and what I am feeling.
I have been desperately trying to find the right words to describe what I am feeling deep down inside. This is hard, even though it is easier for me to write than say what I am feeling. I have come to realize that a lot of my feeling is rational. Words and labels that I have heard too often have become a part of what I feel and even worse, of how I define myself. But digging deep down and getting to my actual heart-state and my true emotions is a challenging task.
I spent some time flipping through a notebook I use for basically everything. You can find recipes, quotes, brainstorming sessions, songs, poems and basic dairy stuff in there. I came across something I wrote probably a year ago and I want to share it with you because I was encouraged by it again. It triggered a feeling hidden deep down inside, one I am subconsciously trying to keep buried. I remember that while I was writing , I felt Someone draw very near. It felt like this Someone was trying to press onto my heart that I am not a mistake but am created with a purpose.
This is what I want to encourage you with today. No matter where you are at, you are not a mistake. You have been created with a purpose, one that only you can fulfill. You may be like me and not yet understand that purpose, but let’s not lose heart.
So here is another small piece of my heart, a part of my story.
You ask me who I am.
I am a woman. I am a mother. I am a daughter.
I am a christian. I am certified.
I am scared. I am insecure.
I am shy and I am distrustful.
I am recovering.
I am jealous and I am selfish.
I am a perfectionist.
I am someone with high demands.
I am stubborn and I am dispensible.
“Who am I, God”, I ask.
And He says,
You are a woman. You are a mother. You are a daughter.
You are precious and loved.
You are valuable and needed.
You are healed and you are free.
You are creatieve and you are wanted.
You are strong and safe.
You are my pride.
You are my daughter, forgiven and free.
P.S. Remember you are stronger!